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wiry

Saturday, April 28, 2007
If you love wires, then Osaka is the place for you. It's definitely the wiriest place I know.

Everywhere you go, there are wires. They can mostly be found hanging majestically across the streets, preferring the open air to being stuffed underground. Occasionally they can also be seen bundled up for no apparent reason, as below.



Even under my own roof, I am confronted by wires. And they're starting to take over. This is the situation in my flat.....



Yes, it's getting out of control. It could well be a fire hazard, especially if I doused it in petrol and dropped a match on it. So if this blog suddenly stops being updated for no apparent reason, it probably means my living quarters underwent a bit of this:

animal prison

Sunday, April 22, 2007
I was delighted to see the famous Animal Prison roll into town again recently. The travelling prison, which has been operating for the last three years, gives city folk a chance to get up close to animals that have committed heinous crimes.

Children and adults alike enjoyed mingling with the animals. There were no reports of trouble.


Animals with a criminal record.



Derek Collins
Crime: International terrorism



The Fukuhara family
Crime: Drug trafficking



Kenji Yamamoto
Crime: Bank robbery



John Yentob
Crime: Murder



Yentob claims it was "just an accident".

bottle beauty

Sunday, April 15, 2007

If you've ever spent any time walking about the streets of Japan, you've no doubt noticed the interesting and often beautiful arrangements of water-filled bottles outside people's homes.

At first I thought they were deliveries of fresh drinking water, much like we have milk deliveries in England, but after talking to some locals, things became clear.

It appears that residents are expressing their creative side, rather like people back home who bedeck their gardens with gnomes. But here, it's bottles of water.

The only downside is that these wonderful arrangements are often spoilt by the potted plants which almost always stand alongside. The plants are supposed to deter disruptive cats from knocking the bottles over, and it has to be said, it usually works.

Quite how the plants succeed in deterring the cats is anyone's guess, though it's thought the feline hoodlums are disgusted by the smell of chlorophyll.


Beautifully arranged bottles, spoilt by some anti-cat plants.

a salaryman morning

Saturday, April 07, 2007
salaryman
Etymology: Japanese sarari-man, from English salary + man
: a Japanese white-collar businessman
Definition from Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary

Alarm bell goes, it's six in the morn,
Salaryman lets out a mighty yawn.

He calls to his wife, to get the breakfast on,
But then remembers, she’s in a different futon.

She's in another room, on the second floor,
He likes it like that, cos he can't hear her snore.

It was her idea, to have separate bedding,
Thirty years earlier, just after the wedding.

She's been up since five, filling his lunch box,
Cleaning his shirts, and darning his socks.

For breakfast it's rice and a relaxing smoke,
Wife's a non-smoker, so she starts to choke.

He doesn't mind, he's watching the telly,
Balancing the tray on his burdgeoning belly.

He leaves for the train, he won't be back for a while,
His wife waves him off, with a bloody great smile.

He stands on the train, his face pressed to the glass,
While somebody's briefcase, slides up his arse.

Someone breaks wind, it's a kind of torture,
Faces stay straight, but eyes start to water.

Next station comes, near the city centre,
One person off, but 90 enter.

Salaryman squashed, against an OL's thighs,
He thinks of his wife, to stop an embarrassing rise.

The train gently rocks, from side to side,
Salaryman starts enjoying the ride.

OL's oblivious, to his growing affection,
She's too busy thinking about the summer collection.

End station comes, but salaryman doesn't,
It'd be a right mess, he knows he mustn't.

Off to the office, arriving at nine,
Says ohayo gozaimasu, about 93 times.

Sits in his seat, and that's where he'll stay,
Till it's time to go home, late in the day.