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Recently I've noticed on websites and in magazines an increasing number of people knocking the cafe scene in Osaka, claiming that it's underdeveloped or lacking sophistication.

Such a claim is simply not true. I say to those knockers: come visit this town, come order a coffee, come see for yourself. There is a thriving cafe scene in Osaka, it's just well hidden.

In an effort to keep abreast of the latest developments in the local cafe culture, I occasionally wander the tree-lined boulevards of an afternoon, keeping an eye out for new establishments or other such prominent things. So imagine my delight when I turned a corner and saw Tits just across the street.

I decided to step inside and sample their buns.


Buns 400 yen
Big melons 10,000 yen
Fried eggs in baps 300 yen
A lovely bunch of coconuts 800 yen
Bazookas 100 yen
A cup of tea 350 yen

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On Monday, 11 September, 2006, Anonymous Lee said:

When it comes to grabbing a cup of tea, do they have any big jugs?  

On Monday, 11 September, 2006, Blogger Alex-san said:

I often find tits are so inviting and they help get me up in the morning ;)  

On Tuesday, 12 September, 2006, Blogger Will said:

Can you get milk from Tits?  

On Tuesday, 12 September, 2006, Blogger the englishman said:

Actually Will, I can't remember. I guess my mammary isn't what it used to be.  

On Tuesday, 12 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Do they have a choice of cup sizes i like nice big cup myself.  

On Tuesday, 12 September, 2006, Anonymous Thomas said:

I knew the Tits café in Kyoto but not in Osaka...  

On Wednesday, 13 September, 2006, Anonymous meganormous said:

so thom it sounds like there are a pair of Tits in the kansai!  

On Wednesday, 13 September, 2006, Anonymous Horny & Hungry said:

Hmmm. I just had breakfast at the Ass Diner. Maybe I'll try the Tits Cafe for lunch.  

On Thursday, 14 September, 2006, Blogger Will said:

Can you get fruit there to go with your hot drink? I quite fancy a nice pear.  

On Thursday, 14 September, 2006, Anonymous Elf said:

I've been to the Tits Cafe. There's many great things there to nipple--I mean nibble on.  

On Thursday, 14 September, 2006, Blogger Invader Stu said:

Dam... I think everyone beat me to the tits jokes.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Daniel-san said:

Can anyone who's a regular at the Tits Cafe please keep me abreast of any menu changes? Thanks; haven't been there in a while.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Traveling Stu said:

I'm a regular at the Tits Cafe & I must say it's an incredibly uplifting experience.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Suzuki said:

I was at the Tits Cafe yesterday with my mate. I enjoyed my pair, I mean pear, while he enjoyed his.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous The Reviewer said:

Atmosphere: light & bouncy
Waitress attitude: perky
Servings: a handful
Quality: bountiful
Recommended dishes: just a couple
Service: captivating
Wiggle room on tab: firm
Bottom line: 5 Stars  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Alistair-Kansai said:

I was there the other bloody week. My cheque bounced, among other things.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Bazza said:

There's no better way,
To start your day,
Than a tasty brew,
At the Tit's Cafe.  

On Friday, 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Jenny said:

My eyes were as big as saucers at the assortment of cup sizes at Tit's.  

On Saturday, 16 September, 2006, Anonymous erik said:

Not to mention the unique cafe culture of of 'maid cafes' in Osaka. Places where girls dressed up in various costumes (usually a french maid) add sugar and cream to your coffee, stir it for you and even wipe your hands!

now if only I could find a place to spoon feed me I'd be in total heaven  

On Sunday, 17 September, 2006, Anonymous Cyka said:

fantastic blog. just found it today and as a great fan of engrish and all the other absurdities i have come across in osaka, i am very happy to know i'm not the only complete weirdo in this city!

Cyka ChickenGeorge UchuuJin  

On Saturday, 23 September, 2006, Anonymous Chris said:

I wonder what theAC controls are like in there?  

On Monday, 09 October, 2006, Blogger ☆Mayu☆ said:

haha! I love your blog. I work in Osaka but didn't notice there are such a silly names out there.
Keep it up!  

On Saturday, 16 December, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Goodness, is this a chain? I took pictures of one that is IDENTICAL in Kyoto (near the downtown shopping area, but on a side street.) I thought that a typo that embarrassing would not be repeated on an international level. Get a marketing department!  

On Friday, 14 September, 2007, Anonymous Hobo-san said:

heard their booberry muffins are to die for....  

On Wednesday, 30 December, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Ass diner for breakfast, Tits for lunch, and a cunning linguist to teach you all about it.  

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