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a salaryman morning

Etymology: Japanese sarari-man, from English salary + man
: a Japanese white-collar businessman
Definition from Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary

Alarm bell goes, it's six in the morn,
Salaryman lets out a mighty yawn.

He calls to his wife, to get the breakfast on,
But then remembers, she’s in a different futon.

She's in another room, on the second floor,
He likes it like that, cos he can't hear her snore.

It was her idea, to have separate bedding,
Thirty years earlier, just after the wedding.

She's been up since five, filling his lunch box,
Cleaning his shirts, and darning his socks.

For breakfast it's rice and a relaxing smoke,
Wife's a non-smoker, so she starts to choke.

He doesn't mind, he's watching the telly,
Balancing the tray on his burdgeoning belly.

He leaves for the train, he won't be back for a while,
His wife waves him off, with a bloody great smile.

He stands on the train, his face pressed to the glass,
While somebody's briefcase, slides up his arse.

Someone breaks wind, it's a kind of torture,
Faces stay straight, but eyes start to water.

Next station comes, near the city centre,
One person off, but 90 enter.

Salaryman squashed, against an OL's thighs,
He thinks of his wife, to stop an embarrassing rise.

The train gently rocks, from side to side,
Salaryman starts enjoying the ride.

OL's oblivious, to his growing affection,
She's too busy thinking about the summer collection.

End station comes, but salaryman doesn't,
It'd be a right mess, he knows he mustn't.

Off to the office, arriving at nine,
Says ohayo gozaimasu, about 93 times.

Sits in his seat, and that's where he'll stay,
Till it's time to go home, late in the day.

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On Saturday, 07 April, 2007, Blogger Antonio Rebordao said:

Delirious! :-)  

On Saturday, 07 April, 2007, Anonymous A Salaryman said:

I'm sorry, but I say ohayo gozaimasu 94 times.  

On Saturday, 07 April, 2007, Anonymous Jeff said:

Very nicely done!  

On Saturday, 07 April, 2007, Blogger Invader Stu said:

Great poem :)  

On Sunday, 08 April, 2007, Anonymous quaisi said:

funny poem and i like the top right photo. Very stalkerish...  

On Sunday, 08 April, 2007, Blogger Ash said:

Excellent! Did you invent that in the pub?  

On Sunday, 08 April, 2007, Anonymous Sharon said:

I thought it was to the tune of "My baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 til 5"...or 9 til last drinks, as the case may be.  

On Sunday, 08 April, 2007, Anonymous Bowels said:

A mighty fine poem
By the Englishman
I'd say more
But I must run to the can!  

On Monday, 09 April, 2007, Anonymous kazue said:

marvelous ode!  

On Tuesday, 10 April, 2007, Anonymous nationwide said:

Excellent. Please continue into the working day and if you have time, drinking whisky in the bar after work.  

On Wednesday, 11 April, 2007, Blogger James Hart said:

Beautiful in every way.  

On Wednesday, 11 April, 2007, Anonymous Metroblogging Tokyo said:

Trackback from Metroblogging  

On Thursday, 12 April, 2007, Blogger Chris said:

Classic! Sort of like that old postal train poem, Salaryman style.  

On Saturday, 14 April, 2007, Blogger David said:

Absolutely witty!

Based on the poem alone, I'll surely be back to visit your site.

Great Stuff!


On Sunday, 15 April, 2007, Anonymous l said:

haha! good one.  

On Monday, 16 April, 2007, Anonymous Nicole said:

Loved the ode.

Our salary man craves a challenge sometimes,
He pushes those boundaries, teases some lines,
"A women's only car?" Pooh, what's that to me?
He wanders in rubbing his hands together in glee,
Nobody stops him, he receives no rebuke
A Japanese breaking the rules? It must be a fluke.
Pushed up next to a school girl, he adjusts his tie,
His hands are immobile, he can’t quite get to his fly.
He ponder his dinner – rice, maybe pan?
All in all not a bad day for our salary man.  

On Thursday, 26 April, 2007, Blogger Den said:

Oh yes, very witty and Chikan behavior is an arrestable office. How about this for the end.

And off the train three cops are awaiting,
Our little fat salaryman`s got a lot of explaining.  

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