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unveiled: the birth-giving machine

Japan's health minister, Hakuo Yanagisawa, has finally cleared up the mess which was threatening to engulf the ruling party.

Last week he upset many people when, in a speech about Japan's falling birthrate, he apparently referred to women as "birth-giving machines".

It's now clear that he wasn't referring to women at all. He was, in fact, talking about machines that give birth.

He was unable to clarify this sooner because the machine's maker, Akatron, told him not to until after the official announcement of the machine, which was today. As a result, he was forced to spend the whole of last week pretending he'd been referring to women, for which he was very sorry.

"I'm so relieved that the truth has finally come out," Yanagisawa said in an interview today. "I might even make a small donation to the machine," he added with a sloppy grin.

The remarkable new contraption looks set to ease fears about the declining birthrate in Japan. Simply add some man juice and the egg of a lady, and within minutes a baby will pop out the other end.

The government plans to begin production before the summer.

illustration: Steve Richards

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 03, 2007 at 2:46 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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On Sunday, 04 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

I was always wondering how that works!  



On Sunday, 04 February, 2007, Blogger LSL said:

OMG. What is the proper response?  



On Sunday, 04 February, 2007, Blogger Claytonian said:

That's how Superman was born too. What are the Japanese planning?!  



On Monday, 05 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

My only concern is how all this relates to heated toilet seats...  



On Tuesday, 06 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Hilarious!! well done.  



On Tuesday, 06 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Where can I donate some man juice?  



On Wednesday, 07 February, 2007, Blogger Life Out East said:

Cool machine but just wait until Apple bring out their version.  



On Wednesday, 07 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

.....probably with the catchy name of "iBirthGivingPod"  



On Thursday, 08 February, 2007, Blogger Citizen_Stu said:

But this will do the stalk out of a job  



On Thursday, 08 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

LOL..as electronically creative as these people are, they always revolutionise the definition of CREATIVITY ^^  



On Thursday, 08 February, 2007, Blogger Will said:

That's great - the world really needs more babies.  



On Friday, 09 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Why not go one step further and design a sperm-giving machine. Then we can all pack up and go home.  



On Saturday, 10 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

If such a solution were available for Yanagisawa's misspeak, he'd pay millions for it.  



On Monday, 12 February, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said:

i love your blog, its so funny...Japan is so funny! I found this image on a blog and thought of you, thought you might appreciate it, also see the link to the baby holders in toilets... http://www.flickr.com/photos/clairish/24889879/  



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