Thanks to the relentless cold weather, I finally decided to fire up the electronic toilet in the flat, and find out what all the buttons actually do.

The results were somewhat surprising to say the least. I've put together a 20 second Quicktime movie to give a clearer idea. Click here to see it.

Warning: The clip features a man sitting on a toilet, so is not for persons easily offended. It's not for perverts either.

Here's a brief breakdown of what each button does:
Famous speech audio: Taken from a selection of one hundred great orators of our time and other times, including Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King and Kimura Takuya.

Missile launcher: Surface-to-air missile fired at random target within 500 miles of toilet.

Chest massager: Mechanical hands affixed to the cistern will extend and proceed to give a brief but relaxing massage in the chest region.

All in all, I'm most impressed with these electronic toilets. I thought they were just glorified seat warmers, but they're much more than that.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 06, 2006 at 10:57 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.