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toilet games

Autumn arrived in Osaka yesterday, which means winter will be here in a few days. Sadly, autumn and spring rarely get much of a look in before the extremities take over.

The good news is that it means The Switching On of the Toilet Seat Warmer ceremony can soon take place, assuring warm buttocks 24/7.

The Switching on of the Toilet Seat ceremony

Nintendo has even got in on the act this year by following up the popular Wii Fit with an exciting new accessory - the Wii Seat. Simply affix it to your toilet, plug it in and you're ready to go (so to speak)...

There's also a special version for the physically challenged....

Wii Seat
comes with a selection of bundled games....

First up is Wii Wee where gamers urinate directly onto the piping hot seat. The person whose urine dries the fastest is declared the winner. Great for slackers who can't be bothered to lift the seat prior to passing water.

There's also Wii Oui where gamers play the above game dressed as a stereotypical French person. Beret, stripy shirt, big moustache and battery-operated French baguette supplied.

Finally there's Wii Non! for those who refuse to take part in Wii Oui.

This gushing bull would wipe the floor with anyone who dared play it at Wii Wee. And then the floor would have to be wiped....

A Scottish Highland bull warming up for a game of Wii Wee.

For anyone interested in offsetting their methane emissions in the toilet area, consider following the advice of this oft-quoted poem when it comes to your flushing routine:

If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down.
If it's red, seek medical advice IMMEDIATELY.
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On Sunday, 19 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

I use a toilet seat cover to keep the cold from my backside. Seems to do the job just fine. Needs to be washed regualrly though.....just thought I'd share...  

On Sunday, 19 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

That is it's tail isn't it?  

On Tuesday, 21 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Is there an outlet next to the toilet on that control arm thingee?!?!?!

At first I thought it was a whole power strip...was wondering what you'd need so many outlets for there.

I hope it has a ground fault interrupt...  

On Tuesday, 21 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

You forgot, "If it's green, don't go anywhere for awhile." Sorry, couldn't think of anything that rhymed.  

On Wednesday, 22 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Japanese toilets rock!!!!!! (not the squat ones though)  

On Thursday, 23 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

I'm happy I can write about o-shiri things anonymously because actually I really itch soon after dispatching the chocko bombs into the lake below. I thought about seeing the Doctor but I know He'll wanto to rummidge around with his little finger and I don't really want him to do such a thing so no. I will work things out. I will go to the pharmacy in the morning and ask them what they reccomend.  

On Friday, 24 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Love at first flush!

The toilet seat warmer is awesome, I wish all toilets came equipped with it. Mine has one but I unfortunately don't know which button to push to turn it on. Every time I try I either get splashed in the face with a mechanical device that sprays water or worse, the toilet starts serenading me with fake toilet flushing sounds.  

On Sunday, 26 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

I wouldn't be a fan of the heated toilet seat. Heating your home is much comfier!  

On Sunday, 26 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

....a heated home is pretty much a luxury in Japan. Central heating? What's that? It's all kotatsus and paraffin heaters....  

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