Definitions:
haikyo: ruins
do a bit of haikyo: explore abandoned buildings, theme parks etc

Doing a bit of haikyo has become somewhat popular in recent months, with many blogs displaying some impressive photos of places long deserted. See HERE, here and hErE for examples.

Recently, my curiosity started to get the better of me and before I could say "Is that the floor giving way?", I realised I'd caught the haikyo bug.

So last Sunday, armed with a car, a map of Japan and a torch taped firmly to my head, I decided to go off and try to shed some light on this fascinating world.

I headed out of Osaka, across several prefectural borders and into the lush vegetation that is widely known as Nagano.

After an hour or so of being lost on the mountain roads, a thick fog descended, my vision went blurry, my speech became slurred, and my hand-eye coordination went utterly to shit. Normal for a Saturday night, but this was a Sunday afternoon, so there was serious cause for concern.

As I pulled into a lay-by, I blacked out. When I awoke, I found myself inside my brain, a place abandoned long ago and with a pervasive odour so musty that I momentarily wondered if this haikyo thing was such a good idea after all.

Well, as I was there I decided to have a look around, though I didn't expect to find much.

I started the exploration in my temporal lobe where I found this unmade bed, looking like some kind of ridiculous art installation....




Walking carefully over several uneven surfaces, I came across my corpus callosum.

Here I stumbled upon this bundle of naughty magazines. They must've been dumped here by a previous haikyo visitor because they were certainly nothing to do with me....


Abandoned magazines full of ladies.


....though I did find this saucy picture hanging in my prefrontal cortex....




The frontal lobe was a barren wasteland, an empty void of nothingness, which explains a lot. I didn't spend much time here. There was really very little to see....




After the frontal lobe disappointment, I wasn't holding out much hope for my left cerebral hemisphere. However, as is often the case with haikyo, you can sometimes stumble across some real gems just when you think there's nothing left to see....


A gorgeous fully-fitted state-of-the-art kitchen with granite tops, oven, fridge freezer, washing machine and terracotta floor tiles.


It was at this point that I paused for a moment to consider the three unwritten rules of doing a bit of haikyo....

No matter how tempted you are, you should never:
1. remove anything from the premises.
2. damage any property.
3. move in and live there.


My cerebellum was a foggy putrid mess so I didn't spend long there, though I managed to snap a quick photo....




The last stop on this glorious haikyo expedition was my orbital frontal cortex.

There was quite a strong smell in here and I quickly realised, from what I saw on the floor, that this must be the part of the brain from where most of the material for this blog is sourced.


Bull shit

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 04, 2008 at 11:06 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.