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12,000 yen ideas....

The recession will soon be over.

Prime Minister Aso is to give everyone in Japan 12,000 yen to spend. It's intended to kick-start the economy, but is more likely to kick-start the nothing.

The total handout amounts to some 2 trillion yen, which is a number with a lot of zeros on the end.

Here's a guide to what your 12,000 yen (about GB£85 / US$120) can buy you......

40 Hello Kitty face masks, so that you don't have to smell the rot

One lifebelt - ideal for sinking economies

The zip of a Louis Vuitton bag

70 cans of Snow White beer - to drown your economic sorrows

A thigh pillow to snuggle up to while you dream about full employment for the world

A manly arm for the ladies so that you can feel nice and secure in these troubled times

One pair of inflatable breasts........does there need to be a reason for everything?

Four piggy banks because, let's face it, that's where the handout is going to end up for most people

Six copies of this feel-good book to help you make the most of other people's misfortunes

And five copies of this feel-crap book just in case things get really bad

So what will you buy with your 12,000 yen?
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On Saturday, 07 March, 2009, Blogger YenX said:

Combine the thigh pillow, the manly arm, and the inflatable breasts and you've got (almost) all you need for a good time.  

On Saturday, 07 March, 2009, Anonymous john turningpin said:

I'll be buying a fair amount of champagne yeast packets and 99 yen-store 1 L apple juice cartons. Should make for some good times when the two combine for a month or so.  

On Sunday, 08 March, 2009, Anonymous Scotty.VOR said:

Forget the lap/arm pillow, just lay the inflatable breasts back and you have a whole bed. Imagine telling your mates you sleep inside a cleavage.  

On Tuesday, 10 March, 2009, Blogger Prometheus said:

Gonna use mine to go to a musical called Wicked.

But if that does not work out, I will go somewhere expensive to eat some Kobe Beef :)  

On Saturday, 21 March, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said:

You know with all of this talk of getting 12,000 and 20,000 for children no one has talked about whether it is taxed as income or or not. Japanese lotteries are tax free. But U.S. lotteries are taxed. I suppose the best thing to do with the 12,000 yen if you don't need it for your everyday expenses is to buy U.S. lottery tickets with it. Way to go prime minister dog statue.  

On Tuesday, 30 June, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Underpants from a vending machine for my thigh pillows.  

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