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the piano man - an appeal

Since arriving back in Osaka, news has reached me from England of the 'Piano Man'. Apparently, last week a man was found near an English beach, soaking wet and wearing a black suit with the labels cut out. Already it sounds a bit odd.

When hospital staff at a Kent hospital tried to find out who he is, or where he's from, he wouldn't speak. So they gave him a pen and paper. He drew a picture of a piano. They took him to the music room where he astounded everyone by giving a virtuoso piano performance, playing for a staggering four hours. But they still have no clue as to his identity. And he still hasn't uttered a word.

Widespread publicity of the story has thus far failed to help in identifying the man. The only information that has been gleaned from him is that he's shit-hot on the piano and that he has a penchant for doughnuts.

I managed to find a photo of him, so if anyone reading this knows who he is, they should phone a police officer in England immediately and help this poor man.

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On Thursday, 19 May, 2005, Anonymous five-blossom said:

What a mysterious story!
...and this photo is terribly amusing.  

On Monday, 23 May, 2005, Blogger Dan Flynn said:

I too find your photo terribly amusing having seen this man abusing photographers in some SE Asian airport, using foul language, telling them to fuck off. Think swearing excludes him from list of potential piano man men. On a more questioning note, how did you find a photo of such an ugly get? In a medical journal perhaps? Maybe the New England Journal of Scalpal Slips? Hope it's not pre-surgery cos no amount of knife work's gonna improve that.  

On Wednesday, 25 May, 2005, Blogger RisingSlowly said:

The only thing I know about the bloke in the picture is that he apparantly killed Diana so that he could make a mint on that crap song he sang at her funeral.I may be wrong though.  

On Wednesday, 25 May, 2005, Blogger quaisi said:

What a wanko!  

On Monday, 11 July, 2005, Blogger onecolour said:

PR these days is becoming a bit of an 'art' form innit?  

On Friday, 19 September, 2008, Blogger Brian S said:

Reginald Denny is it not?  

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