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an englishman in...taipei?

Just down the road from Osaka is a place called Taipei, on an island called Taiwan. Its close proximity to Japan makes it an ideal place for a short trip.

It’s home to the tallest (completed) building in the world, Taipei 101. The number refers not to the famous novel/movie starring a large number of dogs, but to the number of floors in the building.

It was good to take a break from Osaka and see a new place. Experiencing the food on offer there was top of my list of things to do, and I wasn't disappointed.....


This place somehow looked familiar.


This one, too....


A great Taiwanese burger shop.


I then drove to one of the city parks – but had to leave my car at the gate......




Feeling a bit peckish, I decided to fish my lunch out of the park lake…..alas……




Just as I was about to yell “FOR CHRISSAKE!” in irritation, I saw…..


....so I mumbled it instead.


Looking for something to do, I took a pack of cards from my bag and thought about asking a local for a game. But hang on a minute....




By this time I needed to empty my bladder but......


…though presumably taking a dump is OK.


Just then I saw a pretty tulip across the way so I went to…….


....and thought better of it.


I immediately threw down an old newspaper in disgust……


....and picked it back up again.


I was beginning to feel seriously restricted, so I decided to vent my anger with the help of some spray cans, but of course….




I took my desk out of the boot of the car to write a letter of protest and…….


…put it back in again


OK, I thought, I’ll just do something inoffensive like give my smalls a clean….but alas.....




Anyway, even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to…….




Feeling a little tired, I thought about pitching my tent and…..




Looking for something to do, I bought some fireworks from a vendor who obviously shouldn’t have been there....




But after making the purchase, I realised it’d been a waste of money….




Not surprisingly, a red mist came over me and I felt an urge to trash the place but……




A park sign with a surface area the same as the park itself....




Well, after seeing what I couldn't do, I wondered what on earth I could do. I settled on standing still and not moving about much........but........wait a minute.........oh no......I don't believe it......




I much prefer the simplicity of the signs in the parks of Japan….


Apparently the bee spends a lot of time lounging about on the grass and doesn't want to be trodden on.
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On Saturday, 25 October, 2008, Blogger feitclub said:

Ever been to Singpore? It's not as close as Taipei or Hong Kong, but it's an easy tourist destination because everyone speaks English. They've got a ton of forbidden warning signs, my favorite being "No Gum Chewing."  



On Saturday, 25 October, 2008, Anonymous Deas said:

Feitclub beat me to it - but I will add that Singapore has turned their harsh rules into tourist merchandise rather successfully. Ha ha.  



On Saturday, 25 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said:

Another goodie.

Welcome back to Japan where 'anything' goes.  



On Sunday, 26 October, 2008, Anonymous Teuton in Taipei said:

The big question in Taiwan is always: Is it a country or not?

You nicely escaped this quagmire by calling it an "island".

The islanders can't decide whether they want to stay on their own or unite with China or re-unite with Japan.

Concerning cosumerist culture, karaoke and love hotels, I suggest the later makes more sense.

Best,

-- Teuton in Taipei

P.S. Hey, I LIVE in that park! Of course, I need a Germanic level of orderliness!  



On Monday, 27 October, 2008, Blogger Tornadoes28 said:

I'm surprised there is no sign that says "No Public Sex".  



On Tuesday, 28 October, 2008, Blogger Jaguth's Blog said:

Hi, I love your blog, you have a great sense of humor. Keep those silly posts coming! ;)  



On Tuesday, 28 October, 2008, OpenID ianthethird said:

The bus that takes me to school every morning has a sign saying, "Don't leave gums on the floor."  



On Thursday, 30 October, 2008, Blogger Clunking Fist said:

"Don't leave gums on the floor."

What? The whole tree?  



On Sunday, 30 November, 2008, Blogger NurseExec said:

Just ran across you, and this post with the signs just had me giggling at the computer. I'll be back!  



On Friday, 06 February, 2009, Blogger moaksey said:

Goodness gracious me... I have found my new favourite brog...  



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