At 5am tomorrow morning, the alarm clocks of Japan will beep in unison as the nation's people crawl from under their futons and nervously reach for the TV handset flicky thing. For they will be hoping to see their country win their first medal at the Torino Winter Olympics.

Disappointingly for the country's lovers of all things snowy, Japanese competitors have hitherto failed to win a single medal. So all hopes rest with the skaters, and the ice may just break under the weight of their expectation.

The salaryman's favourite is the delightful Miki Ando, a cute and talented skater who is hoping to perform the first ever mid-air-eight-spin-axle move in Olympic competition. Officials are concerned that so many spins could cause havoc with her digestive system, and have advised her to have a light breakfast, and also for all audience members in the front three rows to bring plastic macs.

But if she can pull it off without throwing up, she'll be certain to take the gold and will return to Japan a national hero, as well as a lucrative life of sponsorships and endorsements. Go Miki, go!


So fine!

UPDATE: Gold for Arakawa-san! However, nothing but bruises for poor Mikiti. Her performance, it has to be said, was a bit of a disaster. She spent more time on her arse than on her feet. If she’d strapped some skates to her buttocks, the gold medal would've been hers. Her attempt at a mid-air-eight-spin-axle went wildly out of control. She hit the ice on four occasions. But it’s OK. She’s young. She’ll be back. At least she didn’t throw up.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 at 3:38 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.