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sawn-off marriages

Sunday, June 28, 2009
According to a recent report in a UK newspaper, shotgun weddings are becoming more common in Japan.

A shotgun wedding is not when the woman suddenly produces a firearm from a holdall and forces her boyfriend, at gunpoint, to marry him. No, a shotgun wedding is when the prophylactic fails, the woman becomes pregnant and the couple agree to live happily ever after in eternal wedded bliss.

Many couples in Japan opt for a Western-style wedding. This means dressing up in a white dress (the woman, that is) and wearing lots of make-up (the man).

It also involves going to a church. Most large hotel chains in Japan build their hotels around century-old churches, like this one in Osaka....



A hotel built around a church.


This gives the hotel chain a chance to go into business with the church and make some serious spondoolicks.



On the big day, the happy couple is met in the church by a seriously religious and devout vicar-priest.

Like this one....



A man of the classroom cloth.


The vicar-priest might do three or four services a day, though not always with pregnant women.

Once married, the couple will live happily ever after forever and ever and a bit more.


a beer garden?

Saturday, June 20, 2009
With the warmer weather approaching, so comes with it humidity, long white gloves, and sweat.

Though long white gloves are no longer for me, the sweat still pours and there seems little one can do about it besides sit indoors with the air-con on full.

It's at this time of year that department stores across the country open their rooftops, get lots of cheap food out and supply beer on tap. Say hello to the beer garden.

Beer gardens are usually open from late June to early September. Cost will be around 3,000yen, which gives you unlimited food and beer. Some places impose a two hour time limit, whereas others have no time limit at all which theoretically means you could drink from late June to early September.




Some people are puzzled about why it's called a beer garden, when it's evidently more beer than garden. I guess it's because it sounds nice. Like saying motion discomfort bag instead of puke packet.

But wait a minute - look!

Here's a beer garden that's more garden than beer. How refreshing.....



a beer GARDEN.



OK strictly speaking, I guess it's a happoshu garden, but that doesn't sound quite as good.




Click here for a little bit of information about beer gardens in Osaka and Kyoto - beer gardens, not beer gardens, that is.

english for drug trials

Sunday, June 14, 2009



In a Japanese language magazine available in London, there are several ads from medical companies giving Japanese males the exciting opportunity of taking part in clinical drug trials.

Payment varies according to the length of the trial. You could get as much as £3,570 (about 590,000yen).





Besides financial reward, one company also offers free English lessons during the medical trials....




This is a wise idea, as if the trial all goes to shit, like it did for these poor guys a few years back, then certain English phrases would definitely come in very useful. How about these for starters...


Useful English phrases for non-native speakers considering embarking on a clinical drug trial:
  • "Excuse me but I'm finding it difficult to breathe just now"
  • "My skin appears to be melting"
  • "Could you possibly take me to the operating theatre and pump my stomach forthwith"
  • "Can you smell burning?
  • "When I signed the form, you never mentioned that my eyeballs would double in size"
  • "Although you're paying me a lot of money for this, it's looking like I won't ever get to spend it"


John Hurt: genetic disorder or clinical drug trial volunteer?

insect interest

Sunday, June 07, 2009
Insects are big in Japan. They're also big. Here, for example, is one I found outside my front door just the other day....


An insect as large as a convenience store.


They're also big business. Rather like people in some countries breed dogs or horses, in Japan they also breed beetles.

Furthermore, exhibitions are held to scare the living daylights out of the nation's youngsters....


An insect lit in a special way in order to cause nightmares.


On the whole, kids go ga-ga over the little critters and enjoy nothing more than picking them up, looking at them, and putting them back down again.

A recent exhibition in Osaka had inflatable insects on sale....




....providing hours of fun and fascination....


A child being fascinated as a large insect lunges at her mother.


The real thing is, of course, also available....


Insects in tanks waiting for a new home.


The exhibition also had a range of paintings and drawings on display, showing a day in the life of a critter....


A day in the life of a critter: Get up. Eat breakfast. Read newspaper. Clean tank. Startle someone. Laugh. Go to bed.


Throughout the exhibition there were plenty of insects giving various demonstrations. Here, a beetle demonstrates the art of sitting on a tree stump.




After complaints from insects about being pointed at and stared at all the time, some interactive areas were created so that they could get up-close-and-personal with visitors....


Insects can get a bit funny about being looked at all the time. They much prefer a bit of touchy-feely.


Butterflies from other countries also featured, albeit dead and pinned to a wooden board....




Looking at this one, I was kind of glad it was dead and pinned to a board....


A creature with a pointy bit so pointy that if administered, a trip to accident and emergency would be highly likely.


A child pointing at some pointy bits....




More pin-ups....




Perhaps best of all, on display was Japan's most famous insect, the recently deceased controversial former athlete Shin Fukumoto. He took the gold in the men's 100m at the 1984 LA Olympics but was later disqualified after judges noticed that he had many more legs than the other runners.


Shin claimed he had only used two of his legs in the race, though slow motion footage showed he had used all of them, thereby giving him an unfair advantage over the other runners.