<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=11451155&amp;blogName=an+englishman+in+osaka&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=BLUE&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;searchRoot=http://anenglishmaninosaka.blogspot.com/search&amp;blogLocale=en_GB&amp;homepageUrl=http://anenglishmaninosaka.blogspot.com/&amp;vt=-2071890055428170573" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>

great japanese inventions (2)

Sunday, April 26, 2009
.....that may or may not have been invented in Japan.

The Heat Pad Thingy


WARNING: DO NOT EAT




The heat pad thingy, known in Japan as kairo, which roughly translates as "the heat pad thingy", is a pad of heat which heats up - rather like a hot thingy.

It's popular with people who want to warm up in winter, as well as those who wish to harm themselves.

It works rather like magic. Simply shake it, stick it on your body, and within minutes it will be generating enough heat to warm your nether regions, as well as any other regions that need warming.


A heat pad thingy.


Affixing directly to the skin is not advised. People who have done this and then fallen asleep have been known to catch fire, thereby becoming a little warmer than they had originally intended.


Don't don't don't don't - there should always be fabric between the skin and the heat pad thingy in order not to sizzle.


Many people have wondered how the heat pad thingy actually works. Well, if you open one up, it's not hard to see.....


Inside a heat pad thingy - lots of matches and small bits of coal to keep you toasty.


So let's hear it for the heat pad thingy. Wonderful in winter. Pointless in summer. The heat pad thingy guarantees you'll never freeze your nuts off again (for god's sake don't stick one there).

zoned out

Sunday, April 19, 2009


In Japan, buildings go up really quickly, and often there appears to be a severe lack of zoning, with houses and factories sitting happily alongside each other in blissful disharmony.

It's not uncommon for someone to purchase a property next to a lovely looking rice field on a Thursday afternoon, only to find that it's been transformed into an electricity sub-station come Friday morning.

Not bad if you like volts, but pretty disappointing if you prefer rice.



"I remember when all this were rice fields...."


Some houses even have an electricity pylon built directly through the roof, with its base in the floor of the living room. As you can well imagine, this sometimes makes watching television problematic, as parts of the pylon are likely to get in the way of the screen.


A lightning strike would be an unwelcome event for the residents of this household. They have enough electricity to deal with as it is.



The humming heard around here is not that of a hummingbird.



A house with millions of volts next to it.

dog poo signs

Sunday, April 12, 2009
Dog do-do in Japan is rarely seen, apart from when it's actually coming out of the dog's bottom - if you happen to be glancing that way when it happens.

Owners are usually pretty good at picking up the do-do, and by that I don't mean they do it with grace or finesse, though often they do; I mean, more often than not, they do pick up the do-do.

This is good news all round, for it means pedestrians don't have to worry about doing what Paul Simon once wrote a song about - Slip Slidin' Away.

What you do notice in Japan is the large number of do-do signs that gently warn, cajole, encourage and persuade owners to get the trowel out and start scooping and scraping. And by golly they do it with gusto.

Once I saw an elderly lady actually wiping her dog's bottom (with toilet tissue) after he'd done his business. I know Japan is famous the world over for its outstanding service, but that seemed to be taking things a little bit far.

Here is a selection of do-do signs:



Colourful. And the message is clear.




This sign seems to be covered in do-do.




It's not a sign. It's just a lazy dog that appears to have plopped out a little cartoon character.




"Do not do do-do here."




Cor blimey, that do-do is almost half the size of the dog!




A dog that looks like a small hippo.


The best dogs are the ones that clear it up by themselves....




And just to add an international dimension to proceedings, here's a sign from the UK. Less cartoony, a threat of legal action and the man appears to be using a plunger to get it off the ground....


British dogs - a far more stubborn kind of do-do.

ghostly gate festival

Sunday, April 05, 2009


Festival Gate is an amusement park in Osaka. But there's no festival and no one has been amused there for years because it went bankrupt some time ago.

Festival Gate's recently defunct official website compared the amusement park to the lost underwater city of Atlantis. Though I did have a sinking feeling while I was there, and also felt a wave of disillusionment wash over me, I can honestly say that a similarity to an underwater city never once crossed my mind.

The amusement park is yet to be bulldozed for a car park or pachinko parlour, so it's still possible to stroll around the place if you feel like a quiet afternoon....


Many people once came here (on opening day).


As well as fairground rides, there were also shops....




A statue of a lady with wings and breasts but no legs looks over the park and wonders where everyone's gone....


By the looks of it, it must be pretty cold up there.


Ghostly images of dancers from days gone by decorate the shut shutters which are now always shut.




The silent roller coaster of Festival Gate....




On a brighter note, adjacent to Festival Gate is an establishment which is still open - Spa World. You can go here to calm down after your stroll about the amusement park. Spa World sports many spas from around the world and is open 24 hours a day - just like the world!


Photos of the spas on a sign outside Spa World.



How about a hose down in Bali Spa Heavenly?