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the return of hard gay

Sunday, January 27, 2008


He was all the rage two years ago, though as he was only famous for dressing up in tight leather garments and sticking his sweaty crotch into people's faces, his notoriety was short lived. Or so I thought.

It was widely believed he'd settled into a quiet life tending to rice fields in Fukushima. However, last week he was back on TV screens across the nation, leather garments 'n all.

Yes, it's Hard Gay, the man who probably isn't that hard, and was well-known for not being at all gay. He's not even slightly camp.

See Hard Gay's triumphant return below:
Running time: 30 secs


He's back! Though he'll probably be gone again fairly soon.

mega mini mac

Thursday, January 17, 2008
Japan is famous around the world for its love of miniaturising just about everything it can get its hands on.

Whether it's a piano, a toilet or a prime minister, they always feel compelled to get it to a size where you can just slip it into your pocket.

But occasionally they like to take a step in the other direction.

That's right - say hello to the Mega Tamago (Mega Egg) which is now available at McDonald's outlets across the nation. It's a humongously huge egg in a bun.




The chicken used to lay the eggs for the Mega Tamago is the result of a genetic modification experiment and is also far from compact.




And it doesn't stop with the Mega Tamago. There's also the Mega Mac.

The Mega Mac is proving wildly popular among frequenters of fast food outlets, though hospitals are reporting an increase in cases of dislocated jaws.




However, to show the world Japanese scientists are not losing their touch in the miniaturisation department, McDonald's will also launch the Miniscule Mac at the start of next month.




Of course, the Miniscule Mac will hardly be enough to fill the stomachs of those hoping for a substantial meal, so they'll also be including it as part of a meal set....

swings without swings

Sunday, January 13, 2008


An odd thing has been happening throughout Osaka's playgrounds in recent weeks. The swings have been disappearing.

Children across the city have been left confused and disappointed by their absence but no one seems to know why it's happening.

There are rumours of a swing fetishist at work, while others are suggesting it is simply the local authorities trying to prevent children having fun.


Kids have been finding it difficult to enjoy these poles with holes....



Swingless....









A pigeon ponders over the mystery of the missing swings....



....while another goes looking for them....

punish the mochi

Sunday, January 06, 2008


It may look like an innocent piece of sticky rice waiting to be consumed by an elderly person hoping to see at least one more birthday, but in reality this stuff is more dangerous than a harmless geisha eating a piece of fugu prepared by a blind chef who likes going to prison a lot.

For this sticky rice, better known in Japan as mochi and particularly popular as part of the new year celebrations, happily lodges itself in the throats of ageing diners, blocking their airways and leaving them feeling uncomfortable and/or dead.

Every new year, the newspapers report the number of mochi victims. This year was a good one - only two reported deaths (in Tokyo), although 11 were hospitalised.

Extreme caution must be exercised when eating mochi in the company of the elderly.

Ways to spot an elderly relative in trouble:
1. They stop talking and gesticulate a lot, even though you're not playing chirades.
2. They start turning blue.
3. They seem to be sleeping for longer than usual (like three days).

As a result of these unfortunate incidents, towns and villages across the country hold a Punish the Mochi festival where they beat the living daylights out of it in order to teach it a lesson.